I almost don’t really know what to write here. Just that I keep thinking about writing and documenting and keeping a blog, amidst this odd ring of social media where people’s profiles can randomly get hacked or shadow-banned.

and i guess i might as well just get started. just plonk something down every week, maybe twice a week. and watch where it forms a desire-path by itself.

similar to how one might get rid of an art block maybe?

i spent- i think- 8 years not being able to create art consistently because of this pressure from art school. or did it start the first semester of school even? a lifetime of self-coercion and anxiety vacuum-sealed into a claustrophobic package by the pressure of art school and the absence of structure for an undiagnosed ADHD mind. it’s taken the last two years of therapy and constant journalling for me to finally be able to draw more freely, if hesitantly, these last few months

it’s around this time that i learnt of desire-paths.

paths that sort of appear on say, a patch of grass or dirt, even if an ’official’ path exists, because people go where they want to go, in the most efficient way possible.

it makes me wonder if i’ve just been staring at desire paths in my head this whole time but never felt i could take these paths, instead forcing myself through the paths i deemed were ’proper’. paths that are ’safe’.

funny thing to think, in a field where safe, in theory at least, is what you want to be the least.

anyway, i think i would like to try and be consistent and keep a bloggy sketchbook, so let’s just try, and sometimes, let myself fail, in this little corner of the internet for myself.